wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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