glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize