You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
