it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
