He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
