So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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