So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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