My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
