He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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