My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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