I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
