actually, I'm a sock model
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize