Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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