Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
