Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize