oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
