Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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