508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
