margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
