Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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