"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
