I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
