Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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