At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i dont even know how to be here
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
