hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
third nipple confirmed
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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