woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
