i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
