is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
