He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
