there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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