Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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