I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He passed out mid-signature
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
