whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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