When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
