I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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