google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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