Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
