Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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