Dual....:-)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
