Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize