Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize