Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
