How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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