I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
