I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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