My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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