playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
