so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
