Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
