walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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