This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
