i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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