if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
