he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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