anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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