I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
