Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
