She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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