About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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