im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
