I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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