Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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