Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
