Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
