return my video game
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
