You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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