he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
