direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
