Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
